I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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