At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
