This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
