We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
