and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
