My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
