i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
