So drunk its hurt
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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