You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
