i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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