Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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