Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i would punch a child for taco bell
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
