You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
