oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
