If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
