I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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