I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
