I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
