Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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