hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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