whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
