She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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