I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
