Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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