There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
