u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
