is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
