are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
