ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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