Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
