well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
