they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just high enough for therapy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
