State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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