I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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