I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
