Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
