he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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