vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
