fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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