Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
