Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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