If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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