I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can text with my tongue
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
