I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
