You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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