you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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