if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
