Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
