I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well I just put wine in my tea
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
