what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
