Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
