My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
