All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
