time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
